Killer Kitchen Implements

I deemed it necessary today to let you all know with complete and utter class the I TOTALLY GOT MY STITCHES OUT OF MY HAND TODAY ... HELL YES! As graceful as I could possibly sound over a form of digital communication, where it is incredibly hard to convey what emotions are running through me at this time ... I think that sentence sums it all up pretty well.
It’s sort of gross though, the big swollen red mark with a slice of flesh still kind of missing on my once, may I say, attractive finger ... okay, well it was as attractive as a pinkie finger can get, which in my opinion is pretty damn good looking!

But I have accepted the fact that I will have a scar across the base of the smallest, most helpless finger on my hand, seriously, it hardly seems fair, the poor little finger probably gets picked on by all the other fingers, purely because of its size, and then I go and give it a healthy scar to maybe toughen it up a bit ... and now I’m thinking that it’s going to get bullied some more.

I am feeling so guilty right now. I’m so sorry finger, please forgive me ... without you I can’t look posh and hold you away from my cup while sipping tea.

I really don’t mind having a scar on my finger, honestly, it matches the one I have on the other hand, the one I got while chopping carrots in the kitchen. Seriously, I swear the kitchen implements are out to get me, they get smart on day and decide to band together and gang up on me.

The pots and pans will form one giant super stainless steel kitchen pots and pans robot that will shoot cutlery out of its pot lid hands.

I’m never cooking again!

On another note though, I’m going to share this with you because I thought it was amusing, well in my opinion its funny, whether you find it amusing or not I guess is completely up to you.

This afternoon I was in my room studying and my Dad yells out “Athena, come here, quick!” so I race out to the lounge room with a million things running through my mind as to what my Dad so urgently needs me for. “What??” I said with a slightly, what I can only imagine to be a bewildered look on my face. “Look at the size of Julia Gillard’s ear lobes!” He says to me, all urgency gone in his voice, “It looks like Spock gone wrong!”

I laughed so hard I almost collapsed.

So the moral of these events:

Number 1) Don’t let your kitchen utensils get the better of you. Always stay sharp, you have to be

      one step ahead of them at all times, or they will get you when you least expect it!

And number 2) There isn’t really any moral in this. Oh wait no, I take that back, the moral is .....

              Those heavy earrings will only harm your lobes in later life!